I discovered something today.  Over the last six months, I have missed a lot of church and I have missed a lot of fellowship.  As I entered church today with Joshua, it felt like coming home.  Even though it is a new building and the transition has been tough, the faces that surrounded me were family.  Young and not so young, old friends and new – it didn’t matter.  I was wrapped in such wonderful love.  One dear sister just caught my eye as she entered the chapel but I knew the moment our eyes met that our hearts were connected.  Another sister who has been gone for couple of years was there this morning and it felt like she had never left.  Then my Daddy walked in.  How can I explain the fullness of my heart when I saw his face?

I was overjoyed to see them all.  With each hug and tender word, I was reminded that they love me and have loved me whether I have been with them or not.  Joshua was very tired so we didn’t stay for service but I was renewed, refreshed and rejoicing as we drove home.

I have been absent in body but I am convinced that I have been present in their hearts.  Doesn’t that remind you of the verse that says, “to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord”?

One of our sisters is going away for a time – after this morning, I hope she discovers the same thing I did – though she may be absent from this “body”, she will continue to be present in our hearts.

And one day we will be present with our Savior.  I caught just a glimpse of what a delight that day will be.  “Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine – oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!”

Larrie and Rhonda

It has been six months tonight since we received the phone call from Sunrise Hospital telling us Joshua had been involved in an accident.  I have been replaying that night over and over in my mind most of the day.  This feels like a bit of a milestone, however, because the next big anniversary to hit will be one year.  Hopefully before the one-year mark we will have a new anniversary to remember - we are still praying that Joshua will be standing on his own two feet. 

I have been both sad and joyous today.  Six months ago we didn't know whether he would live.  Tonight I sit across the living room laughing with my son.  It is a bittersweet day and I seem to be having more and more of those.  It isn't just the night of the accident that replays in my mind but the days and weeks that followed.  It is a comfort to look back and see all the ways God carried us through. 

You know, there are lots of stories in the Bible that talk about the memorials set up to remember the great things God did for the children of Israel.  They would set up piles of stones or erect pillars, something to declare a work of God, to mark a place of importance.  1 Samuel 7:12 says, "Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called its name Ebenezer, saying, “Thus far the Lord has helped us.”  

So many of the "stones" we set up to remember are in places of pain.  It's so easy to focus on the hard spots.  I think I find a measure of comfort in remembering the times my heart has been broken.  It must seem strange as people watch us being broken.  But, without fail, God meets us at that place of brokenness and mends.  We see Him ride to the rescue just in the nick of time, though He has been working behind the scenes the whole time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to reveal His grace.

There are many precious stones of remembrance for us to reflect on in the coming days and, it might seem crazy, but I want to remember each one and say with Samuel, "Thus far the LORD has helped us."

Larrie and Rhonda

Sara, one of Joshua's battle buddies from AIT in Texas, came for a visit today with her parents.  She's from Minnesota and had been out to see Joshua when he was still in Kindred and not very coherent.  There are some holes in his memory but it was wonderful to sit and watch Sara and him share stories about their training.  After they left, Joshua and I talked about after he came home from Texas.  He remembers the trip home but doesn't seem to recall anything from Christmas until he woke up from his coma.  Apparently, the waking up was a gradual thing and he has bits and pieces.  Otherwise, his memory is intact.  Okay, sometimes he tells me the same stories several times (I'm sure others have experienced this as well!) but I usually listen again. 

My dad tells me that when he gets together with lifelong friends and the stories start, someone will say, "Stop me if you've already heard this."  The response is, "No, go ahead and tell it.  Even if we've heard it before, it'll be different this time around!"

Isn't it funny how our memory works?  When I look back on my life I remember things a certain way.  My kids remember the same instances differently.  Does our memory mellow?  Get sharper?  Sometimes I catch myself walking down memory lane with God and I know some of the details have morphed.  That time I sinned wasn't so bad, was it?  Besides, it really wasn't my fault.  It's the nature of our brain.  But God (don't you love that phrase?) sees all things clearly and perfectly.  I'm just thankful He sees me through the filter of the love of Jesus.  This is our Father in heaven who casts our sins away as far as the east is from the west, who pitches them into the deepest sea never to be remembered again. 

I don't think a faulty memory is such a bad thing if it is faulty because of love's sake and forgiveness can sure change the way we remember things, can't it? 

Larrie and Rhonda    

The last few days have been difficult for me.  Sometimes I wonder...

Will he sit up straight?

Will he walk?

Will he sing?

Will he sleep through the night?

Because of his limitations, he isn't always able to get comfortable in his bed and he will call me at night for adjusting.  I try to stay patient but when I'm tired, it is hard.  His voice is not the way it was and, even though he is trying to sing more, it is hard.  I get just a faint hint of excitement when it appears he has feeling in his legs but when I see him struggle with the inability to move them, it is hard.

Our vacation was wonderful and Joshua managed pretty well with his siblings while we were gone.  We did a lot of nothing!  We are grateful for the time and God did do a work of refreshing - I think I just picked up the reins of "sometimes" when I got back.

So today I have worked on "whatever things are true", like:

Joshua's memory is intact - he is playing his guitar quite well and worship songs he played are still right at the tip of his fingers.

He is getting stronger and his speech is much clearer.

He is getting more independent taking care of himself.

His appetite is great and his attitude, for the most part, is very upbeat. 

But the best "whatever things are true" has been the fact that God is not done with him yet and there is laughter, joy and a whole lotta love to fill our days and evenings.

Please continue to pray for him.  I am still believing God for great things in my son's life and in the life of our family.

Larrie and Rhonda

Yes, we are still here - Praise God!!!!  Hope you are, too.  Joshua has been home for a couple of weeks and it has been absolutely insane.  I'm having trouble finding a routine (that's not a new problem, though) and I have been more physically active that at any time in the past 10 years.  There is a constant stream of traffic at the house - therapists, sometimes two or three visits a day.  I have tried to rest when Joshua is supposed to but he doesn't rest.  He is excited to be home and we are spending a lot of time talking.  I finally told him the other day that I was initiating "Quiet Time".  It lasted about 15 minutes.

Larrie and I are taking a few days off and heading for the Bible College at Murrieta.  Crystal and Scott will be staying here with Joshua and the rest of the kids will be on hand as well.  It will be strange but we'll try to relax.  Visiting Angels will be coming in on a daily basis to take care of some of his needs which will help with some of the load while Crystal is here.  They have hired me to be Joshua's personal care assistant (which is what I thought I'd been doing) and I actually have a time card to fill out and turn in!

We also have our first visit with a new primary care physician tomorrow and will be planning for outpatient rehab services after we get back from our vacation. 

We are praying that the time away will be refreshing and that we will not be anxious.  I am especially praying that I will come back ready for the challenge of full-time caregiving and a greater ability to balance my day - I think I've been flying by the seat of my pants for the last couple of weeks.

You know, I've been telling the women for a long time that their personal time with the Lord is the most important thing they can do.  I have been reminded how the demands of our daily lives can draw us away, deceiving us into thinking we will get around to it later in the day.  You and I both know we won't.  Over the last couple of weeks, it has been a struggle to find quiet time with the Lord and going before Him with an undivided heart.  All kinds of things fly through my head when I try to pray and the Scriptures make me think of items I need from the grocery store (especially when I read the lists of genealogies) or what I'm going to fix for dinner (I just recently read, "My peace I leave with you," which reminded me of pizza which made me hungry so I headed to the refrigerator instead of staying on my knees!).  It takes a tremendous effort to grab Him first thing in the morning (Okay, I confess, I've slept in a few days!)  - But IT CAN BE DONE!!! 

So - no more excuses...let's do it.  Let's make our First Love our first priority, the One we can't wait to seek and the Reason we arise in the morning.

Larrie and Rhonda